They breed them young.

I’m off to Atlanta for some debauchery this weekend, so I’ll leave you with this monstrosity.

Found this bad lad while buying CDs for the first time in years at Best Buy. Dear God. Someone, please, make it stop.

Seeing how I would never put my hard earned sub teaching dollars for purchasing something of this nature, I can only imagine what they subscribe to the new parent with Florida fandom running through their veins. Perhaps a Baby Chomp? Or a “Go Gators!” chant? Baby Jorts? Or maybe a Baby AK-47 comes included with the DVD, and your toddler can lay waste to parking lot air space to intimidate other toddlers in pre-school who dare grow up to be Seminole fans?

The DVD details:

You love your kids, you love your family, and you love your University of Florida Gators®! Now you can combine them all with this exciting Team Baby Entertainment DVD. This DVD features officially licensed NCAA footage of Gator sports, highlighting the marching band and campus attractions, along with the sights, sounds, traditions, and colors of the Florida Gators®. BABY Gator® combines all the great things you love about the University of Florida, with all the things you want your lil’toddler to learn – numbers, letters, colors and more.  Featuring the music from the Fightin’ Gator Marching Band, “Pride of The Sunshine”, as well as original footage of the “Gator Kids”, BABY Gator® is the ideal way to raise tomorrow’s fans today! Makes a great gift!

Watch together… cheer together… learn together. Raising Tomorrow’s Florida Fan Today!

What they forgot to mention was that your toddlers becoming Gator Fans this early will max out their intelligence level with this DVD.

Public schools really do have too much money. Of course, if Miami did one of these, you’d have Baby “It’s All About this U,” Baby Piss in a Cup and Throw it, and Baby “Fuck You Seminoles” chants.

This is gaining enough national news again that I’ll hit the well once more. Larry Coker is a finalist for the UTSA head coaching position.

I’ve gone over this before, but UT-San Antonio, if you know what is good for the longevity of your program, make haste with this Okie and scratch him off your list. His record does not speak for his abilities. Well, if you only take his past two years at Miami, then yes, it is right on.

You have a great D2 candidate in NW Missouri State HC Mel Tjeerdsma, who has won two D2 titles (‘98, ‘99), and finished 2nd thee times (‘05, ‘06, ‘07). This guy literally built that program. The Missouri Governor wanted to turn to school into a freeway before he got there! And you are considering hiring Larry?

As the great Dana Marschz once said, “It’s a slippery slope… beer, liquor, dope, coke, meth, hiring Larry Coker, chicks with dicks, then jail!”

This is your final warning UTSA.

A request, for all the real media giving timely updates on all things Hurricanes…..will someone, anyone, please find me a photo of Colin McCarthy with a mo’hawk?

And one more fantastic tidbit of new to come out of the outlets today: Travis Benjamin switched his jersey to #3. Yes! The Kyle Wright experience grows more and more distant with each passing year. You see, I found my girlfriend an authentic Canes jersey, for $10, all because it was #3, during the lean years of Mr. California All-Everything. Needless to say, it was overpriced. I’ve been coaching her repeatedly to say “Supporting #3 Jason Geathers, NOT Kyle Wright,” but you never know how intelligent the listener really is. Once Benji blows up this year, however, we will all be in the black.

Also, I am in need of a real camera to take photos at the Spring Game. Make haste with your contributions.

ESPN should just shut down its college football site after signing day. Conserve salaries and hosting space, like GM getting rid of all their clocks. That way, they wouldn’t feel the need to do an arbitrary selection like this for every team in the country.

That said, the final list from Heather Dinich over at the ACC blog, was the following: Howard Schnellenberger, Michael Irvin, Vinny Testaverde, and Ken Dorsey.

Ok, Howard and Irvin are the obvious no brainers. The man who literally built the program, and the most recognizable Cane of all time. However, Testaverde and Dorsey are stretches for me, and Dorsey shouldn’t be in there at all.

My list, if succombing to this, would be Schnellenberger, Irvin, Ed Reed, and Jerome Brown. Vinny never won a national title, I believe the only name brand QB at Miami to never do so. Dorsey was not the real leader on those teams, Reed was. As much as I loved Kenny boy, and boy did I love him, especially once Brock took the helm, he could’ve arguably been replaced by any QB in the country who had great smarts. He was surrounded by the most talented offense in the country for three years, and also had a fantastic defense for short fields, playing with early leads, etc.

As for Jerome, anyone who can lay claim to the two best ever Miami anecdotes will always make it on my list. (“Ja-may-al, come out and paaa-lay-yay,” Brown taunted, “Come on out, Ja-may-al!”  and “Did the Japanese go sit down and have dinner with Pearl Harbor before they bombed them?” Muwahahahaha.)

Apologies to Ted Hendricks, who was notably awesome (3 time All American, considered one of the best defensive players ever), but I just don’t know enough about him to add him to the list. The Mad Stork was past my time.

Back when Michael also used to "assist" the defense

In a slightly surprising move, Randy has “promoted” LB coach Michael Barrow to the role of Defensive Assistant. Nice. Barrow now will be able to focus on other general tasks, and here’s hoping he just goes out and recruits non stop the entire season, and this is a figure head title for him. New DC John Lovett will take over the LB job. Seems Lovett was pissed he was a Defensive Assistant for all those years under Butch, and it’s time for someone else to ride the pine for awhile. Barrow is the odd man out.

This pretty much opens the door wide open for uber-recruiter Clint Hurtt to become the next DC when Lovett steps down, or decides he can’t resist going back to his alma mater, C.W. Post College.

Man I miss these sick jerseys.

Relatively fresh news out of the Miami off season camp, with the annoucement Sam Shields will be moved to the defensive side of the ball. Word has it Randy sees the depleted secondary, the enormous talent and depth at the WR position, and saw this one as a no brainer.

I like the move as well. Shields is 6′0” 186, so he instantly transforms from undersized WR to oversized DB. Add in the fact he will be a senior, and he should be able to pick up the new position quicker than most. Shields played great last year on special teams, and isn’t defense the closest thing we got to special teams?

With all the news of Miami rescinding Bryce Brown’s scholarship offer once it expired yesterday, we here at Anton Azucar decided it would be a great time to get the input from close friend of the program, Hollywood mogul Les Grossman. Not many in the movie biz, or college football for that matter, know that Les actually grew up in the South Florida area. A graduate of Miami Beach Senior High in 1974, Les actually went there back when it was cool, with the likes of Andy Garcia and Mickey Rourke. Onto the questions.

Anton Azucar: Les, thank you for doing this interview via BlackBerry.

Les Grossman: Look, fuckstick, I’m incredibly busy. So why don’t you get the hell on with it before I snap your dick off and jam it into your ass…wait, who am I talking to? This isn’t Deco Drive? (audible whispers from assistant). Oh…..Anything for my hometown team, Anton. Sometimes we forget all the little people, the ones who have nothing better to do with their lives, when we reach the top.

AA: Uh, right. Thanks. First off Les, what are your thoughts on how Randy Shannon is doing?

LG: Fucking fantastic. Someone has to treat the little people like the expendable pieces of shit they are.

AA: What do you make of this whole Bryce Brown saga playing out?

LG: Fuck the Bible Belt! Jesus worshiping Helots. They all fucking suck!

AA: Um, Brown is listed as the #1 recruit out of Rivals. Are you serious Les?

LG: The fuck? Rivals? You call ME begging for an interview, all ants in your pants, sucking my left nut to get linked to some real blog, all so you can be called the 3rd runner-up “Hurricanes blog” of 2009… And you’re asking if I’m SERIOUS?

Look here. We all know all the best talent comes out of South Florida. That’s physics. It’s inevitable. The universe….it’s talking to Randy right now. He just has to listen. [Les heard turning on Flo Rider's "Low" in the background] See, this is the good part, fuckstick. This is when the job gets fun! Can you feel me dancing through my BlackBerry? Can you feel it? Randy needs to tell all these local high school coaches, “you play ball…we play ball. I knowwwwww, you want the goodies!” You paying attention South Florida high school coaches? I’m talking…G5 fuckstick! That’s how these coaches can roll. No more frequent flier bitch miles for Randy or his staff. I have his back. (pause) Oh yeah! Playa….playa! Randy gonna be an Big Dick playa! Big dick, baby!

AA: Uh, moving on. So I take it you’re not a fan of Brian Butler, who seems to be calling all the shots?

LG: Look here. This is what I would do if I was Randy Shannon. Got Butler on the phone? Great. Tell him this. “You want a new scholarship to be faxed over? Hold on, let me get this down. New scholarship, no expiration date, sent to Wichita, Kansas… Oh, wait! I got a better idea. Instead of a new scholarship offer, how about I send you a hobo’s dick cheese?” Then, Randy kills him. Does his thing, skins the fucking bastard. Go to town, man. GO TO TOWN!

AA: Um, uh, that is a very unique perspective. I’m sure coaches in the future will be happy with that result, actually. Les, do you think the NCAA should institute an early signing period for recruits?

LG: Absofuckinglutely. Absofuckinglutely. Anytime you can legally entangle great talent in a web of bullshit legal jargon and contracts, you fucking do it.

AA: Les, what are your predictions for the upcoming year? Have you seen the slate Miami is faced with to open their season?

LG: What they gotta do is pull down their pants and spank their ass, you spank it. Seminoles in the opener? Spank it. Oklahoma at home? Spank it. ACC schedule? Spank it. You catchin’ my drift here fuck stick?

AA: Yes, sure am Les. (beat) Les, I want to thank you for taking the time to answer our questions today. You are a great friend to the program.

LG: No problem. MBSH Class of ‘74. That fat fuck Rourke is gonna owe me big time come Sunday. He can go on another 10 year bender after what I’ve done for him. Wait, what’s your name again?

AA: Anton Azucar.

LG: What the fuck kinda name is that? You a fucking sugar cube? I don’t fucking get it. Listen. A nutless monkey could do your job. Seriously.

AA: Well, Les, it does take some talent to do this-

LG: Nutless. Monkey. Now, go get drunk and get massive hits. Go Canes.

AA: Uh, thanks, Les. Until next time.

I forgot to post this yesterday, but for any of you who didnt see, good ole Bruce feldman gave his take on Miami’s daunting schedules in his chat Friday.

Anton (Fort Lauderdale, FL): Bruce, what do you think of Miami’s murderous opening stretch of games next year? (FSU and Va Tech on the road, Ga Tech and Oklahoma at home). On paper, their overall schedule, after throwing in UNC and South Florida, is the hardest overall ACC schedule I’ve ever seen.

 Bruce Feldman: It is brutal. It’ll be the roughest start of any program in the last 7-8 years. But not the toughest ever. I’ll have more on that later today in my blog. Good thing for UM Jacory Harris is solid at QB, but the O-line is a big question mark and how will new DC John Lovett get that run defense together and can he get some plays out of those young DBs?

Damn. Bruce tore me a new one on the toughest ACC schedule proclamation. However, it looks like Bruce and I are becoming fast friends. Me, him, and Jose Yero are going to have to catch a fleek together, maybe heet a deesco.

The reason I have not thrown my opinion into this ring yet is because I just don’t care. And this is not your typical message board themed hatred of “Fuck him if he doesn’t want to come to the U! We’ll kick his ass!” variety. I don’t care where Bryce Brown ends up. If he comes to Miami, I will be extremely happy. He is the #1 recruit out of Rivals. There is no denying his talent. Acquiring talent is good business. However, there is also no denying his lack of mental aptitude; this guy seems like a total headcase.

He is most likely being pulled in multiple directions, receiving input from his “handler,” let alone whatever big bro Arthur has been telling him about Coral Gables. Originally, after the first fasting last winter, it was Miami. Then Oregon was added in the mix. Then USC. Then Tennessee. Now LSU. If he ends up honoring his “commitment” to Miami, and he takes off for his first 20 yard burst through the middle from Big Whip’s newly designed O, we will forget all about this.

We want to go to there

After sitting on this, I’ve come to realize this is a horribly unfair schedule, relative to the conference. The ACC must hate affirmative action. They must be in cahoots with The Man. This is worse than the original reference to Murder Incorporated. This is Captain Willard realizing he has to kill Colonel Kurtz. He doesn’t want to. He loves the guy. Admires him. Respects him. Wishes he could serve under him. But orders are orders, and dems da breaks. We can’t all slide through life as a snail on a razor blade.

Nah, I keed, I keed. Kurtz wanted to die.

In actuality, this is a fantastic opportunity. Miami can regain some huge national exposure from doing well early on. Everyone, and I mean everyone, will be writing off this young and raw group with two newly hired coordinators. This team wasn’t going undefeated anyways. Randy can band the entire team around this schedule and low preseason expectations. Hopefully we can see a whole season reminiscent of the 2005 Va Tech game. Total beat downs from unsuspecting opponents and national media.

The real problem is for the Canes fans. For the next 6 months, I don’t know if Miami will start 0-4, and have a totally lost season come the first week of October, or be 3-1 and sitting pretty in both the ACC and national title race. Miami can go 6-6 next year, look light years ahead of this past season, and no one outside of South Florida will realize it. But, you know what? I want these big games. I want to be the talk of the preseason. High risk, high reward thing. Miami is getting back to the great OoC opponents in the coming years: home and homes with Ohio State, Nebraska, Pittsburgh, Kansas State, and Cincinnati, with the second half of the Florida contract still to come as well.

Well, there is only one logical conclusion. The ACC must not want one of its two marquee programs in the title game. I guess they like being the laughing stock of the country, namely the BCS Big 6. When Va Tech and BC play to 5,000 people, and ABC has to crop their wide shots for 3+ hours to hide it, they must all chuckle in their booth, loving the fact they are paid to endorse this atrocious shit.

All roads lead to Tampa.

The ACC officially announced the 2009 Football Schedule for all 12 teams. Everyone plan your road trips accordingly.

Miami

Sept. 7 at Florida State (ESPN)

Sept. 17 Georgia Tech (ESPN)

Sept. 26 at Virginia Tech

Oct. 3 Oklahoma

Oct. 10 Florida A&M

Oct. 17 at Central Florida

Oct. 24 Clemson

Oct. 31 at Wake Forest

Nov. 7 Virginia

Nov. 14 at North Carolina

Nov. 21 Duke

Nov. 28 at South Florida

Miami will be playing a Murderer’s Row right out the gate. Opener against FSU on the road, followed with Ga Tech at home, and then Va Tech in Blacksburg. Oh, you don’t like opening  a season with 3 conference games that can kill any hopes of a conference title by September 26th? Well, here’s Oklahoma for your first Out of Conference slate! Muwahahahahahaha. This is something even Hyman Roth would hesitate at. Running molasses out of Canada? No problem compared to those first 4 games.

Miami needs to win 2 of the 3 opening ACC tilts to have any chance of a conference crown. In fact, this may be the most difficult schedule, on paper, for an ACC team that I have ever seen. True, that isn’t saying much, but still. This is not your typical cake walk ACC season.

The obvious benefit here is if they can just go 3-1 to start, they will be sitting in great shape. Would have tie-breakers over many of the top teams next year in conference, and probably in the top 15 nationally depending on who they lost to. However, I’d probably be happy with 2-2, if one of the losses was to OU, leaving them 2-1 in conference play. If they go any worse, I’m afraid we will need to call in Frank Pantangeli’s brother over in Sicily to get us out of that mess.

Kirby Hocutt, fresh off his botch job in prying more money from President Shalala, announced plans to cut the ticket prices for some sections for the 2009 season. Of course, my section, Alumni, will see none of those benefits. Kirb-dawg, you do realize the Alumni section is full of all the recent grads, right? The ones who can’t afford season tickets, but get them anyways? And most importantly, the ones who will potentially be big donors in 10 years, for the next 20? (Hell, I only went to Miami for a year, and I want to go all Alex Rodriguez when I’m rich and convince those territorial fucks in the Gables to build an on-campus stadium! They would never let me, even for a $5 million straight donation to the city, but still.) And he couldn’t cut the $75 donation fee? Come on, Kirbs. The donation fee is a 21% premium to the actual season ticket cost. This is like a NFL seat license. Killing us.

On the plus side, all the unemployed, South end zone at the OB Canes fans will see some real discounts. Cuts reach upwards of $151 in the upper levels, with two mid-level club sections (206 and 212) seeing a decrease as well.

In reality, the all-in Alumni ticket price is actually a great deal. $345 for six games (most seasons you get seven),  a state of the art stadium, great parking, easy enter and exiting, and it serves all kinds of liquor. And that was for 20 rows up from the field.

Randy is being proactive in this budget crisis. He has offered (and has been accepted) for Miami to bus to games at UCF and USF next season. Not too shabby. Will save the Athletic Department $140K. I feel those should be bus trips every year really. Only 4 hours max to either location. On a personal level, anything under 8 hours on Google Maps is an automatic drive over flying. And when Google Maps tracks estimated time using 65 mph average, you can always chip away at that time, with your 85 mph clip.

For all this money being saved, I can only hope they paint the end zones this year. As much as I love the slanted parallel lines, a la Notre Dame, it reminds me of…Notre Dame. Enough!

The Miami Herald is reporting that the Canes will hire UNC Defensive Assistant John Lovett as their next Defensive Coordinator. Lovett came to UNC with Butch Davis, and was also the Special Teams Coordinator.

This is definitely a suprise hire by Randy, one not many saw coming. Perhaps he liked what he had with Bill Young. The well-traveled assistant, someone not looking to go anywhere, with loads of experience to teach young players. At the same time, Lovett is 58, was not the DC under Butch Davis, and has not been a coordinator since 2006 with Bowling Green. He does have 18 years experience running a defense, however, including stints in the SEC with Auburn and Mississippi. This guy isn’t green.

I’m actually more excited about what he can bring to the Special Teams play. If Miami can start consistently putting kickoffs past the 15 yard line (please?), block some kicks, and increase their return average by even 10 net yards, it will do wonders for the still growing offense. A defense with studs all over can run itself. Unless you’re Patrick Nix.

(whispers) Kirby, go talk to Donna, get me some money for a DC!

Lost in all the Mark Whipple and National Signing Day hoopla is that fact Miami is still without a Defensive Coordinator. Rumors are that the vault is empty, Randy will have to handle the duties, all because there is no more money to get a big name DC.  Some might think us Canes fans are in a desperate situation. Not one to let any restrictions hinder his search, Athletic Director Kirby Hocutt has decided to bring in a consultant, one who has experienced more than his share of money troubles with an owner (or president), and is not afraid to say what others may not.

Lou Brown: Hocutt! Gimme all your requirements goddamit! I need to know what I’m looking for.

Kirby: Well, Lou, we want someone who runs the Cover 2 Base defense, blitzes rarely, utilizing the front four to put all the pressure, and can pin their ears back once we get a two touchdown lead.

LB: Well, shit. I know a great guy. Knew him back in my days in Cleveland. You might of heard of him, Bob Stoops? He wasn’t much of a career climber. He’s probably still washing cars in the off-season up there in Youngstown, earn a couple extra bucks.

KH: Uh, Lou, Bob Stoops is the head coach of Oklahoma. Has been for over 10 years.

LB: Well, shit. I knew I shouldn’t have moved to London once Taylor took my job. I was doing that sack of shit catcher a favor!

KH: And Lou, we sort of have a budget concern with our Defensive Coordinator hire. We broke the bank on Mark Whipple, and need to keep this one on the lower end of the scale.

LB: No problem Hocutt. I have a great idea. Check out this sketch I just made to scrap together some funds.

Don't Hire a DC without it!

LB: You like it Hocutt? Randy hocking AMEX! You’re sitting on a goldmine here!

KH: Uh, Lou, I don’t think Randy will be OK with this idea. Maybe we can just re-direct some funds from the tennis and diving teams. They run a surplus every few years. President Shalala has been very adamant about not overspending on the coordinators.

LB: Forget about the curve ball Hocutt, give Shalala the heater!

KH: Well, I don’t know Lou. She can be pretty intimidating.

LB: Come on Hocutt, get in front of the damn woman! Don’t give me this “olé” bullshit! Go in there, walk right past her lady secretary, and tell her you are bringing in whoever you damn please! And you’re gonna wine and dine ‘em! Show ‘em the town! Automatic Slims! Mango’s! Monty’s Raw Bar in the Grove!

KH: Lou, I can’t do that. President Shalala insisted no overspending. I can’t take someone out to South Beach, let alone Monty’s. Maybe we can do Chicken Kitchen, but only if I pay.

LB: Chicken Kitchen?! I’ve had it with this nickel and dime shit! I want that bitch on the phone!

KH: Lou, this isn’t a good idea-

LB: Hocutt. Look here. Try this. Throw this in front of your boosters. It worked for me before.

KH: Lou, that is sick. You are a dirty old man. President Shalala has been nothing but supportive to the football team.

(pause)

KH: Lou, this might have been a bad idea bringing you in, maybe we should just leave it at that, go our separate ways…

LB: You don’t wise up and listen to me Hocutt, and guess who’ll be bagging groceries in a couple of weeks! You’re from Ohio, right? I hear the other Miami is hiring. You ever think of going back there for a few? I have connections up there. You and Dorn can tag team some third rate hookers out on Lake Erie for all I care!

(pause)

KH: I’ll get back to you on this Lou. Thanks for your advice.

LB: (sighs) Oh, no problem Kirby. (pause) But hey, I figure we ought to hang out together for a while today and see if we can give all those stuck up Coral Gables people a nice big shitburger to eat! Whaddaya say Kirb?”

KH: Uh…I have to go now Lou…I’ll have our secretary get you your check.

LB: Well, alright Hocutt! Now you’re talking. I love this Coral Gables shit! I just might move here!

Nuh-uh! Who wants to interview me?! RoadRunners? Nooo! For realsies??

Looks like someone else wants to kill their program. Texas-San Antonio does realize they don’t get to start with someone else’s players, right? They don’t get dozens of NFL draft picks to mooch off of for 4 years, yes? Well, maybe not.

Lets see. If they start in D1-AA, which is the usual course of action for a new program, I see them going, oh, 0-12, for the first 5 years. But as long as they don’t get into an on the field altercation, the Okie will still man the ship! I keed, I keed.

Seriously now. How can any program look at Larry Coker with a straight face? How can you not see behind his fantastic record (60-15)? Especially when his own school saw right through it, even though it took them about two years too late. When you have this as your resume: 35 straight wins, an .800 winning percentage, one national title, one title game loss, 3 BCS bowl appearances, 3 conference titles, owning both your in-state rivals, and you’re still fired after six years?

I fear for the Athletic Director’s sanity.

You official yet? No? Yank the offer Giff!

Ga Tech HC Paul Johnson did what probably all D1 guys want to do. He took back a scholarship to a player that was verbally committed. Never mind the fact this choice of school will literally determine the outcome of this guy’s entire life. Paul Johnson doesn’t give a shit. Or that he was a dual threat QB, the one position Johnson needs to start competing for national titles. Nope, Paul Johnson still doesn’t care. You want to take the scenic route up from Tampa to Atlanta, maybe stop off for a day, see the beauty of Augusta? Again, no teardrop from ole Paulie. You just better be there on time, like you verbally contractually obligated yourself to do.

I am actually fine with this practice. In the old days of recruiting, players were more or less off limits once they gave a verbal. You didn’t have all this useless hat changing, or any handlers. However, this is America, where someone staying at a job for 2 years is cause for questioning from friends why they haven’t moved on yet. You’re open season until you’re not. All’s fair, etc. Miami is still up for the #1 Rivals recruit because Randy don’t give a shit as well, in his own way. He will take anyone, headaches and all. He, like Urban Meyer, or Pete Carroll, all know you have to deal with the egos if you want to win titles.

I’m not saying Paul Johnson won’t take Ga Tech to that level using this practice. He’s a fantastic coach in a relatively easy BCS conference. Dontae Aycock, the recruit in question, decided to switch because even he knows you don’t make the league playing QB for an option team. He went to Auburn to play RB. His high school coach even told him not to de-commit.

Then again, when you spend $805,342 on recruiting, maybe you earn the right to not give a shit.

Look at me. Look at me, okay? Technically, I shouldn’t be getting laid with all these recruits, but I do. And do you know why? Because when I’m hanging out with a recruit, that’s all I’m doing is hanging out, talking, listening. I’m not sitting there thinking about how to get in bed with them. And this completely confuses them because they’re saying “Wait a minute. I’m so much better looking than this guy. I’m on ESPN’s Top 150. Isn’t he attracted to me?” The basic principle: We pursue that which retreats from us.

It’s like Butch Davis on the Titanic. He kept saying, “More people, more people.” But Randy was, like, “No.”

Don’t fret Canes fans. Randy has this all under control. Be a Steve, not a Stu.

(This post was set to run if Barrington picked Miami, but I spend so much time on it, I decided to run it anyways.)

Sam Barrington decided to beat the oversaturation of tomorrow’s hat fest and announce his college decision tonight. Staking out a club in his hometown of Jacksonville, Barrington announced mere minutes ago he will be attending Miami to play football.

Barrington listed his final three as UM, South Florida, and Illinois. Damn Zooker. Overreaching again into this great commodity ripe state of Florida. He just makes the rest of them work harder. Barrington even said he didn’t like the cold. Another hit to the Midwest! Hold out for those playoff home games Big Ten!

Barrington is listed as 6′3” 215. Great starting off point for an OLB. He is #37 LB prospect in the nation; not too shabby. I see him as someone who will predominantly play special teams next year, with Spence manning the LB group, McCarthy back from injury, and Arthur Brown stepping into a starting role. Barrington can slide right in once McCarthy graduates, and run amok his sophomore year, a la the majority of the 2002 defense.

His senior year stats are pretty good: 1,118 yards rushing, 17 TD, 109 tackles, 4 TFL, 3 sacks. However, I can’t find out anything on his competition up there in Jax.

Barrington is listed as a 3 star by Rivals. Depth! Depth! Depth!

(Update: Barrington picked South Florida. You suck Barrington! You’re just a crappy 3 star! Who needs depth anyways! I wasted ten minutes of my life!)

These are for you Randy.

On this NSD eve, the XMas for all those affiliated with any team across the college football world, I share this fantastic article I saw over on Bleed Scarlet, a Rutgers blog, via MGoBlog, who linked to it first.

Man, that sentence was long. PTA worthy. I should probably cut it up. Yes, I’m being lazy. Close ‘em up Randy!

If you grew up here, you must be fast. House caves in at 4am on a Thursday morning? You better have 4.4 speed to escape!

As we all await the inevitable drama from Bryce Brown on Wednesday, I thought this would be a good time to settle an ongoing argument. Where does the best high school football talent come from? (Not Kansas!) We will all agree that the top 3 states for mining players are Florida, Texas, and California. And in the end, it always comes back to Florida and Texas.

This debate has raged on and on for years, especially when places like ESPN put up a poll for fans to vote upon. Does anyone really think Texas wasn’t going to get the most votes? We know how dem Texans are. They never back down on anything. They will tell you there is a movie theater with 87 screens right outside their doorstep in Arlington, it’s called the Dallas 87 Grand, and when you go online, find the truth, call them out on it (only 24 screens!), they will simply move on to telling you Kyle from Real World Chicago will come out as gay by the last episode, he knows this as fact, because his sister knows someone at MTV in Manhattan, you guys should go online and bet on this. You following the trend here? If they know they lost one argument, they will just fixate you onto a new one, which most likely you cannot disprove.

Then, in a gift from a former Cane god, the answer arrived. Butch Davis, when describing the potential pitfalls of recruiting, threw out this gem:

“You may be buying the finished product,” Davis said. “There’s a little bit of that in Texas. Those schools have got more money than God. They have a strength coach, 15 high school coaches. The players have been in the same program since sixth or seventh grade. You get them and four years later they are the exact same player.

“You go to Pahokee, Fla., where a kid eats once a day, his parents may not be around,” Davis said. “You get him in a weightlifting program. Two years later, he’s three times better than the kid from Texas.”

Dammit. I knew I should’ve emancipated myself, moved to downtown Detroit, and ate breadsticks for lunch as my sole government-assisted meal for the day.