Looking closely at the Big Ten logo you can see the eleven sandwiching the ‘T.’ Ah, I get it now Jim Delany. You cleverly hid your actual team number in your logo, now no one can make fun of your inability to count. Works every time. I’d imagine the conversation will go like this in 18 months when they finally add their 12th member.
INT. Office in Chicago.
Big 10 Board Members: Mr. Delany, now that we have our coveted 12th team, what should we call the conference?
Jim Delany: The Big Ten. Who asked that question? Was it that woman sitting there? How stupid are you? All women are stupid. You’re fired.
Big 10 Board Members: Well, uh, sir, we thought this might be the opportune time to rename our conference. To not be the butt of basic arithmetic jokes.
Jim Delany: What? Why? What are you talking about? We’re the Big TEN. We have TEN members. Am I the only non-idiot sitting here? Who pays you guys?
Big 10 Board Members: Sir, um, we added an 11th team in 1990. They started conference play in 1993. Everyone makes fun of us.
Jim Delany: Why did no one tell me this when I took this job? I bet it was you, woman. Fine, we got 12 teams now, now we’re the Big 12. How many problems do I have to solve for you miscreants?
Big 10 Board Members: Sir, well, uh, we can’t use that name.
Jim Delany: What? Why not? We have twelve teams. Now we’re the Big 12. Is that woman going to order us some lunch? I’ll take a fish taco with extra guac.
Big 10 Board Members: Sir, we can’t use that name because there is a conference that already uses that name.
Jim Delany: What! That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Why did no one tell me this? I put a copyright out on ‘Big’ in 1999! Is the legal system broken in this country now as well!?
Big 10 Board Members: Sir, they have been in existence since 1996. Unfortunately, we cannot use that moniker. We need to think of a name before the press conference in one hour.
Jim Delany: I’ve got it. You all ready for this masterpiece? Listen up……the Bigger 12. Huh? Huh?! Woman in the corner who shouldn’t be here, high five! Oh, and hurry up on that lunch order. I’m hungry.
End scene.
So the big, bad, “wannabe SEC but doesn’t know it” Big Ten wants another team? Where were you guys five years ago? They should have piggybacked the ACC raping the football Big East to swoop in and take Pittsburgh. It would have been a side note to the overall negative attitude of Miami and Virginia Tech selling out. Now they will look and sound desperate to every prospective suitor.
In a perfect Big Ten world they get Notre Dame. Considering nothing is perfect, that isn’t happening. My opinion is the Big Ten should go in the opposite direction of the status quo. They should go after a basketball school, namely Syracuse. Rich football tradition, potential to be good again, but a powerhouse on the hardwood. Adding another nationally prominent basketball school would do more for the conference than giving Penn State an in-state rivalry with Pittsburgh that JoePa cannot schedule out of.
In my own perfect world, the Big East sees this potential raid of Pitt/Rutgers/Cincinnati, and goes on the offensive. You are the least respected BCS football conference. Time to demand some respect. Go buy Penn State from the Big Ten. They belong in the Big East geographically, and no one would care they if left the Big Ten because it would put them back at 10 teams. Penn State is an easy two wins a year in basketball, so no threat there. The conference would take back the market share of a historically talent rich state in Pennsylvania. Why wouldn’t Penn State be dying to do this? They could become the next 1990s version of Miami. They would own the Big East. Why this is not being considered is beyond me.
